I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
