At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
do nipples grow back?
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