You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
