I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
