If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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