Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
