I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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