apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
