My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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