It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
