I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize