Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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