You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
