I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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