why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone signed my nipple.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
