hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
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Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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