fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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