How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
