She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
God, I missed his penis.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
