Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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