my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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