No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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