Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am puke
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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