Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
