And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
