No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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