Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
