I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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