Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
