remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
A+ Viking dick
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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