Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
