I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
