I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
