batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
