We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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