I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I smell like Dick and happiness
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