Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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