People in love make me want to vomit
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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