Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
