so let's talk penis.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
