U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize