Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
