I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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