i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
