Please, let me fuck your mom
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
