that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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