life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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