All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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