You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
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My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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