So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
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I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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