Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
