And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
