i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
