I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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