I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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