That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
