anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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