opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think my moral compass just broke
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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